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gosh...hadnt blogged fer quite some time. There were two reasons for this: its either im overcome by fatique after schl or im experiencing caffeine withdrawal!!!! so one look at the computer, an effing pain will creeep into my right brain and lo and behold!! a migraine... so the onli task i can do is to switch the damn box off and go to slp. JC life is that hectic. and this period of first three mths is supposed to be sort of a holiday for us!! oh, not to mention that choir is soooo hectic!!! but it's fun nevertheless. toking abt choir reminds me of band!! im experiencing band withdrawal too!! gosh !!!!KKK...on with the blogging...

28 feb, Mon: our JAE results were out. Spirits were at the peak but god noe's y i still have this composure in me. hmmmm....its hard to describe...inexplicable feelinglessness..haha. weird huh?? i got back my results, iwasn't jumping fer joy nor was i breaking into tears, i was just .....feelingless. You pinch me, i wont cry out. Contacted mari many times after this, she neither answered nor smsed back. I was worried, real worried. Practically ran around the schl trying to look for her,also tried asking a few frens whom i passed by. All i got were negative answers...but newae, i finally got hold of her in the st raphael's block...and i shant elaborate any further....

3 March:
had commotions with my mum during the period that was given to us to choose our colleges. Today's the worst i guess. i promised her that i would put rjc as my first choice the past few days, to my utmost reluctance, and i had to put on a false front and praise rjc as if my life without being a rafflesian would be meaningless. I told her the TRUTH todae......the actual truth......... I apologised to her and said that i despised them alot. And wateva i said the past few days were all lies, none was laced with sincerity. She flared up, as i had expected. i could avoid this but i reaalyyy did not want to disappoint her. I loved tjc too much to give it up, u noe the warmth and acceptance and all. i feel so at home. In the end, rjc was indeed my first choice...............cos of my mum's tears..........

3 march:
went for sajc band conc with edo and his fren, viv and her frens...sigh. dunno wat's wrong with edo todae. the past few days, he kept saying he wont pang seh me and all, now i think hes doing the opp. he was kindda cold and we had to create small talks which was so unlike us.nvm. the pioneer gal he came with was fun newae.. she looks like the bigger version of yanzhu...haha....just when i tot such resemblance dun exist:). well, met jonathon( a fren from peter low's choir) there. Both of us were pleasantly surprised to meet up wif someone we have not met for like....ten years?? despite the donkey years, our faces were still recognisable...haha. After the conc, a few of my ij banders and i went fer supper....and then nitey nitez...

today:
a bolt from the blue.....i just had this urge to pour all my disappointments regarding true friendships to the com todae. Actualli, I felt safe doing this cos i noe not many pple will come to visit my blog as it had remained stagnant fer quite sometime.

true friendships dun exist!! They cant withstand long distances nor long periods of time. Absence makes the heart grow fonder?...ha bullshit!!! these proverbs are a load full of crap... Friends from ij whom im reaaliii close to......gone with the wind i guess. y do i have such feelings all of a sudden?? well i was just surfing friendster todae, to my surprise, i found that my clique was writing testis for everyone except ... me. i have so many questions bottled up in me. To Sheryl, Yanyi, Yuning, Lia, etc: HAve u all forgotten abt me or do u all just want to leave me out in things?? im confused...Is it cos of tjc, which is like the furthest schl from all of u?? or is it cos u regard me as faker trying to wriggle my way into the clique, that's all...so u dun see the point of keeping in touch. Im confuzzled. I hate to be the one always to make a move...im tired..GET IT!!!! to Yanyi: u dun have to pity me and try to fill me up on things that are going on with yuning and the rest. I have decided, im not going to harbour hopes for a good ol' friend to confide in. i would never wear my emotions on my sleeves ever again..NEVER!! After nat, i dun think i can accept any friends except acquiantances.

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